Notes to start a writer's week: Things not to do while writing

While writing, you should probably avoid the following:

1. Giving yourself a manicure--because otherwise, you might (theoretically) have coffee that tastes suspiciously of nail polish.


2. Walk your dogs on-leash, even with a tape recorder--because leash burns on the ears are substantial distractions from creative impulses.


3. Eating chocolate--because you might eat the whole bag without noticing.


4. Exercise--because it's hard to type while exercising and both you and your computer will be at serious risk for injury.


5. Answering children's questions--writers, when distracted by a particularly good bit of prose, have been known to give their children permission to bring home pet goldfish, puppies, rats, mice, ferrets, skunks, and elephants.


6. Driving--well, I think the danger here is obvious.


7. Skiing, biking, rollerblading, or engaging in other balance-requiring activities--see #6.


8. Grilling--because otherwise your family might be treated to blackened steak. REALLY blackened.


9. Baking cookies--see #8.


10. Babysitting--because children, even other people's children, have an uncanny knack for identifying distracted grownups and seizing the situation for maximum havoc wreaking.

Writing is a dangerous business. Please observe these safety precautions to avoid bodily injury while your mind is otherwise engaged.

:) Cheryl